Take What You Can Get

Today on the train...I know it has been a while since I've updated. Believe me, the situations have not slowed down on the train, but my ability to get to a keyboard and write it all down sure has. 


Recently on my way to work, I listened in to a group of men talking. I couldn't tell if they knew each other beforehand, but strangers become friends pretty quickly on the train if enough time is provided, and you don't have your head in a book like I normally do. I digress. 


Anyway, one of the men makes a comment that he's not actually on his way to work, he's on his way home from work. Mind you it is 7:30 in the morning. He said that he starts work at 3:00 am, that the hours suck, but these days you have to take what you can get. It is amazing the length people will go to get bills paid and food on the table when times are tough. 


A group of coworkers were talking about their favorite taco stands in Los Angeles. They said that most of them don't open until 8:00 pm and then stay open as long as they have food available. I piped up and asked if these people had daytime jobs and then went out afterwards to see tacos. My coworkers said that is exactly what they do. Can you imagine? Working all day, taking care of your family, preparing your taco selling 2nd job then being out all hours of the night and then coming home to maybe sleep a couple of hours, just to do it all again?


There are too many people that are living lives like this or ones like it. Not making ends meet with even a full time job. These aren't people living outside of their means. These are people that cut costs anywhere they can and still can't make enough. This is not the American dream. 


The entrepreneurship, the dedication, the perseverance, and the determination those are characteristics of the American dream, but those characteristics don't guarantee the happy ending.

Listening and Learning

Today on the train...I had a whole slew of experiences. This morning I had to wake up early to go to a training at work. I basically woke up, showered, got dressed and ran out the door. 


I got on the train and settled into one of my favorite seats with a huge text book and a highlighter. There was no way that I looked like I wanted to talk to anyone, but the man sitting beside me obviously thought otherwise. 


He started by asking what I was reading. To which I replied "A book for school." 


"Oh yea? What are you getting into?" 


Really? 


"Therapy." Back to reading and highlighting. 


Then he moved on to definitely hitting on me, which boggles my mind because who hits on people before 9 AM?! But I easily deflected those comments.


He asked me what my hobbies were, to which I said "Studying." Nope he still didn't take the hint. He continued to chime in with little comments here and there and then a social commentary about how Los Angeles is the place to be for therapy because there are plenty of mentally ill..."I would know." 


Towards the end of the trip, I had to take my head out of the book, and put on my therapist-in-training hat. The man started to share that he was going through a divorce and trying to get at least some custody of his kids. He didn't get along very well with his attorney because he was trying to do some research on his own and his lawyer didn't appreciate his effort and thought that he wasn't capable of helping. 


To that I said, "You don't like to be under estimated."


"No! Because I'm smart. I might not have a fancy degree, but I know a lot of things." 


I feel like that could have a been a good therapy session had this man come into my office. The train? Not so much...but I'll send him an invoice.


Then on the way home, I was still reading, and was interrupted by a conversation that was going on behind me. Two women were catching up. One was on her way to a math class at a community college, where she was studying cosmetology and the other was 5 credits away from getting her high school diploma or her GED. 


"Do you know of a place that hires felons? I need a job!" The one getting her GED said, continuing with, "I need money now that I'm having babies and sh*t."


"Babies?"


"Yea, I'm 3 months pregnant with twins!" 


She went on to talk about her boyfriend, who was excited about the pregnancy, and she was excited about a relationship with a guy that was "square". She defined square as gang affiliated, but not gang banging. 


The women then went on to talk about jail and being pregnant in jail. They had a real conversation about not wanting to be pregnant there. An uncomfortable bed, not enough good food, stress (enough stress to cause a miscarriage), and even the possibility of losing the child to foster care once it was born. And the sad part was, they had seen it all. They might not have experienced it all first hand, but friends and family had.


The rides to and from work were interesting, and honestly they reconfirmed that I'm on the right path to become a psychotherapist (not that I've doubted this path since I've been on it). The stories today are similar to ones that my future clients will tell. 


The stories are tough to hear and pull at my heart, but I see hope in them all. Sometimes hope is all one needs to get going in the direction to a better place in their lives.

Humor Keeps the Train Going

Today on the train...the train conductor gave us a giggle. Just as the train was pulling away from a station, she got on the speaker that you can hear inside and outside the train and said, "Busted!"

We all looked around to see what she was talking about and saw a whole group of sheriffs checking people's tickets, making sure that everyone paid for their ride.

I like when the conductors interact with the passengers, even if it is just via the intercom. It must get lonely and boring being in the little box where they drive, going back and forth on the same track all day. What better way to entertain yourself than make the passengers laugh.

There is another driver that has a real deep voice and every once in a while he'll have some fun with us. He'll say "All aboard!" and then make the door closing beep sound like real "choo choo".

If I were a train conductor I think I would have as much fun as possible, obviously while keeping the train safe, but what better way to spread positivity than by entertaining a whole train full of people!

Continuous Learning

Today on the train...two men in their 30's were quizzing each other. They had a hard cover text book that looked like it was on geometry out and were prepping for a test. They were discussing the uses of the different formulas and how it would benefit their job, which sounded like something to do with plumbing.

It was inspiring to see grown men so dedicated to learning new information and supporting each other to do well in the class which would lead them to do well in life.

In this day and age, you can't stop learning. New information is developed everyday and if we aren't paying attention we'll get left behind.

I was talking about technology with some of my family members this weekend. We were saying how we are living in the "future" with ipads, kindles and the like. Next thing you know we'll have flying cars, just like in Back to the Future II!

Social Experiment

Today A couple of weeks ago on the train... it had been raining pretty heavily for Los Angeles. I sat down in the seat closest to the window and realized that the open seat next to me had a leak dripping on it from the ceiling. Being the nice person that I am knew that meant that I would have to tell everyone that tried to sit there my entire trip that the seat was wet.


I did just that. As each person positioned themselves to sit I stopped reading and gently touched them on the arm to tell them that there was a leak on that seat and they would quickly move.


I should mention at this point that a woman had sat down kitty corner to me. She was scantily clad with a mini skit, no tights and flip flops. This outfit was not very appropriate for the frosty temperatures outside. She was also very fidgety, leg wiggling, toe tapping, etc.


Ok, back to my acts of kindness, I was getting tired of telling everyone about the wet seat. I didn't want to stop because I worried that the people around would wonder why I told all those other people but didn't tell the next person. I know that sounds silly. Why would the people on the train care what I was doing? But I worried about it. I still decided to stop telling people. I needed to get my reading done.


Of course at the next stop, a young female medical student dressed in scrubs sat down, and I said nothing. I could see the fidgety woman look at me like "hey, why'd did you stop?" The medical student quickly realized that the seat was wet and drops of water were hitting her head and she got up.


At the next stop another person sat down, this time the fidgety woman chimed up and let them know that there was a leak. I glanced up and smiled at her. She continued the act of kindness the rest of the way.

A Quiet Mind

Today on the train...there was a woman creating business plans. The only thing was that she was talking to herself. I'm guessing that she is schizophrenic because she every once in a while she would slip in another voice that was more like a breathy whisper. At times the voice was a little creepy but after awhile I felt like she wasn't a danger to anyone.

She went from creating business plans for Los Angeles to increase tourism, to how she was going to start selling notebooks similar to ones that were at the 99cent store, to wondering if mummys could be brought back to life, to talking about how snakes couldn't die unless they were killed.

It must be exhausting to have your mind going like that all the time. There is little to no way you could actually have substantial conversation with someone else, which could be very lonely. I wonder if she has medication and just doesn't take it, or if she is homeless and medications are hard to come by.

"A quiet mind cureth all"according to Robert Burton. I'm sure that woman wishes she could have a quiet mind.

Staying Strong

Today on the train...a man defeated temptation. There was an older man on his cell phone and I could tell that the person on the other end was asking him where to find drugs. The man kept saying that he didn't know, that he hadn't messed with the stuff for four years and he liked his life now. But I could tell the caller was insistent.

The older man said "If it will put me in jail it aint' worth it. I like my life. I gave my life to Jesus Christ and I'm not going back." He was firm and there was no way even if he did know where the caller could find some drugs, he wasn't going to contribute.

At one point he sounded like he was going to hang up on the insistent caller, but then he started talking about how good his life was now. He had a job, a home, money in the bank and friends that really cared about him.

In the end, the conversation turned in to an invitation for the caller to hang out that night, instead of finding drugs. I wanted to turn around and tell the man how touching the call was to me. I didn't even know the man and I was so proud of him!