Listening and Learning

Today on the train...I had a whole slew of experiences. This morning I had to wake up early to go to a training at work. I basically woke up, showered, got dressed and ran out the door. 


I got on the train and settled into one of my favorite seats with a huge text book and a highlighter. There was no way that I looked like I wanted to talk to anyone, but the man sitting beside me obviously thought otherwise. 


He started by asking what I was reading. To which I replied "A book for school." 


"Oh yea? What are you getting into?" 


Really? 


"Therapy." Back to reading and highlighting. 


Then he moved on to definitely hitting on me, which boggles my mind because who hits on people before 9 AM?! But I easily deflected those comments.


He asked me what my hobbies were, to which I said "Studying." Nope he still didn't take the hint. He continued to chime in with little comments here and there and then a social commentary about how Los Angeles is the place to be for therapy because there are plenty of mentally ill..."I would know." 


Towards the end of the trip, I had to take my head out of the book, and put on my therapist-in-training hat. The man started to share that he was going through a divorce and trying to get at least some custody of his kids. He didn't get along very well with his attorney because he was trying to do some research on his own and his lawyer didn't appreciate his effort and thought that he wasn't capable of helping. 


To that I said, "You don't like to be under estimated."


"No! Because I'm smart. I might not have a fancy degree, but I know a lot of things." 


I feel like that could have a been a good therapy session had this man come into my office. The train? Not so much...but I'll send him an invoice.


Then on the way home, I was still reading, and was interrupted by a conversation that was going on behind me. Two women were catching up. One was on her way to a math class at a community college, where she was studying cosmetology and the other was 5 credits away from getting her high school diploma or her GED. 


"Do you know of a place that hires felons? I need a job!" The one getting her GED said, continuing with, "I need money now that I'm having babies and sh*t."


"Babies?"


"Yea, I'm 3 months pregnant with twins!" 


She went on to talk about her boyfriend, who was excited about the pregnancy, and she was excited about a relationship with a guy that was "square". She defined square as gang affiliated, but not gang banging. 


The women then went on to talk about jail and being pregnant in jail. They had a real conversation about not wanting to be pregnant there. An uncomfortable bed, not enough good food, stress (enough stress to cause a miscarriage), and even the possibility of losing the child to foster care once it was born. And the sad part was, they had seen it all. They might not have experienced it all first hand, but friends and family had.


The rides to and from work were interesting, and honestly they reconfirmed that I'm on the right path to become a psychotherapist (not that I've doubted this path since I've been on it). The stories today are similar to ones that my future clients will tell. 


The stories are tough to hear and pull at my heart, but I see hope in them all. Sometimes hope is all one needs to get going in the direction to a better place in their lives.